The Misadventures Of Emmett
by Fishey Stories
Summary: With Emmett Cullen, anything is possible. Come read the untold story of Emmett Cullen, written in his diary.
1. Mike's Hard Lemonade!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mikes hard lemonade, Twilight yada yada yada.**

**YESH! New series! Hmmm, I don't exactly like the quality of this, but I will improve. Stay tuned, it gets better! With Emmett, there are numerous possibilities!**

-Hayle

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Dear Diary,

Today was a great day! I went skipping through the meadows with Rosalie in my arms. We both sat down and ate our picnic of animal parts. It was AWESOME! We should do it again. Except for Rosalie kept complaining about how the grass was ruining her dress, and how I should have brought a blanket, and how I was a total moron/idiot, and how I ruined her perfect day. I love Rosalie so much.

Before Rosalie and I left for are picnic, I discovered the COOLEST new drink.; Mike's Hard Lemonade! Strawberry Flavor. Mike Newton was selling it at the corner of the school. He gave me a whole 6 bottle pack for 50! What a deal! He promises he will have more if I don't tell anyone about it. That stuff is SO addicting! Rosalie keeps saying how alcohol is not an appropriate drink for a vampire and how I got ripped off, and that I was a total moron/idiot. I love Rosey. She's so pretty when she's angry. I already drank it all! It was SO yummilicious!

Well, tomorrow they're having football tryouts, so I'm thinking of joining. It would be SO cool to be all popular-ish at school. I could be a jock and be all fierceish, like how they are on America's Next Top Model. I love that show. I practically cried when Anna got sent home! She was a hottie. And Miss. Tyra was all rudeish about it. Rose calls me gay for watching that show but Americas Next Top Model is SO a guy show! Well, Rose and Alice just got home from their shopping trip so I have to go help them unload the Fed-Ex truck. -sigh- Write again soon,

-Emmett


	2. Emmett Didn't Make The Team

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight,... Yet. BWAHAHAHAHA!!**

**I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I have been busy doing other things. So lay off the banana catapults that you were planning to ambush me with. Yea, I know about them. I know everything 00 Jeez, you people are aggressive!! lol, anyway, here it is. TA DA!**

**I promise I won't take so long to post the next chapter. I'll try to get it done tomorrow.**

-Hayle

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Dear Diary,

Today was possibly the WORST day of my life. And the drama all started 6 hours ago...

I was at the football team tryouts. It was cloudy and the perfect day for vampires to be out. Anyway, Coach Clapp made us run 2 miles to begin with. Two Miles! I tried, but I couldn't do it. Alice had just given me a makeover and I couldn't risk ruining my hair. So after we were done running, Coach made us do 50 push ups. Once again, I couldn't do it. It was too hard! Edward and Jasper were laughing at me the whole time, which really hurt my feelings. They're so mean sometimes. -cries- Finally, we had to pass the football to each other for a while. I was actually doing really well until Ed and Jazz started screaming at me that I throw like Bella. Well, that really set me off, and I let my competiveness take over my teddy-bear like attitude. So I started chucking the ball as hard as I could at my teammates. Let's put it this way: Tyler is in the hospital with 3 broken ribs and Mike has a broken leg, arm, and is suffering from amnesia. Ooops. So much for the team. Coach Clapp said I was too rough, and that I wasn't "football material" Whatev! I guess I'm not on the team. -heavy sigh- At least Bella is not talking to Edward for making fun of her. Haha Edward. I can hear him attempting ti cut himself with a knife right now. Haha. Bye for now!

-Emmett


	3. Goodbye!

Hello Watchers, Fans, Haters, and Acquaintances.

First off, I must apologize for never updating. I personally hate it when authors never update, and leave an awesome story hanging. It has been rude and selfish of me for leaving you with a cliff hanger.

And I must say, that I am retiring from Fanfiction. Or at least from the Twilight section of it, for honestly, I have lost my love of Twilight. Between the movie, Breaking Dawn, the juvenile fangirls, and the haters, Twilight has just lost it's fun. I'm finding it very hard too write a story about a subject I have no interest in.

I'm sorry for keeping you anticipated, only too let you down. It has been fun, collecting my own little fan group. I'm sure you hate me, and you have every reason too.

With all my love,

Hayle


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